With Love

With Love

He told that he was feeling sleepy, that he wanted to discuss the case with others. But he had had promised me he would talk for long hours this time. I was sure he had forgotten his word. But I couldn’t stop him. I said nothing. I just let him go in that happy mood. It was not because I wanted to hear some nice words about me from him. And it was not because I was not sad about the whole “avoiding – me” issue. Again, as usual I was looking forward to spending some time chatting with him. It was something I really loved to do. Still I did not complain because I did not want to see him dejected. That was a tremendous change that I saw in him now. I did not want to lose the sight of it. I still don’t know what brought about that change. Or why he was so much bothered about my success, my happiness. Coz he never expected anything from me in return. Of all the various kinds of love I have seen around, everything had a purpose, everything expected something in return. I think the thing I gave in return to him for his unparallel care and concern was his happiness. He never asked for it. I just had to give it. I owed him that.

            He was happy to realize the fact that at the end of the day, he was successful; he was able to put me back in my full swing. But above that, I was much happier than him; to realize that I was instrumental in bringing back the smile on his face. I knew how inconsolable he had been after all that had happened in his life. From the moment I knew about those incidents, I was particular not to let him remember any of those events again.

            Maybe, they were simple joys that I gave him, but he treasured them all like the riches of a lifetime. I still couldn’t comprehend the feeling that initiated his purpose. To care for someone unconditionally was something; to feel for someone without any actual bonding was beyond question for me till now. I did not know what I was to him. Or what he meant to me, for that matter. It was just a mind game. You plant a tree, water it every day, tend to it like anything; all with a Demosthenes’ sword hanging above – the realization that the fruit of the tree belongs to someone else.

            As the days wilt away, making hearts heavy, sometimes I retrospect on our relation. It always ended up in a gap, a space to be filled up. There was no word to fill the vacuum that defined our relationship. But I think now I realize, the greatest beauty of our relationship is exactly that – the undefined.