In
the Corridors of CUK Life
It was my second year in All
Saints and I was doing my degree with comparatively lesser threats from my
parents and greater scorns from my old schoolmates who had joined various
engineering colleges. People talk about letting your child chase his or her own
dreams for a few days after they watch films like Taare Zameen Par but
once they lose the hangover of it, they beeline for an admission in one of the
reputed engineering or medical colleges in their place whether their child
likes it or not. Not only that, they also take pain to shower sympathy on the
lesser ones like you who couldn’t make up to any of those professional colleges
or took up humanities subjects for reasons they think are psychological. Well,
I was blessed in the manner that my parents thought it better to allow me
choose my path rather than pressurize me for any professional degree they were
sure I would drop in the middle. Thus I opted for English Language and
Literature. I loved the subject and more than that, I thought it suited my life
better. I was quite a lazy fellow right from my childhood and the only hobby
that amused me was reading. I read and read when I was in my teens. Please
don’t be mistaken, the menu constituted only English fiction. Ok, now this is
gonna be my life… I thought as I enrolled myself for the subject in the college
exclusively for women, All Saints.
So
the story goes like I was one day skimming through the news paper and suddenly
an ad on the top left of the page caught my attention. It was put up by the
Central University of Kerala, Kasaragod inviting applications for their M.A
entrance exam. I read it wide eyed. Because it was only then that I knew there
was something like a “Central University” in Kerala, that too for humanities! I
called over to my father who incidentally happens to hail from Kasaragod and
asked about the college. “Sorry, I have no idea. But see now you can’t dub my
place as a dark continent. You don’t have a central university here in
Trivandrum!” I was really amused. But however I acted like I didn’t hear the
last part of his comment which ridiculed my hometown, Trivandrum. I forgot
everything about it after a few days. In my third year towards the end when my
classmates and I were all busy filling application forms to various
universities outside Kerala, this old newspaper cutting flashed through my
mind. “Why not give it a try?” I asked my friends and we applied to CUK too.
As expected, my father was too
much thrilled by this because if I get admitted to CUK, he could visit his
native place now and then on my account and he loved travelling like anything.
My Amma however was totally against the idea. She never had me away from her
too long and this time too, she was not ready for that. She was so much against
the idea of sending me to any college outside Trivandrum that she started
coaxing me to join some college in the vicinity. She prudently employed her
skills at emotional blackmail and intimidation. I even doubted if she was
seeing some sorcerer to stop me from enrolling into any of those colleges. As
the results of entrance exams started appearing, she appeared more somber.
“Whatever happens, I am not going to send you out of Kerala.” She made her
stance clear once and for all. I was disheartened. But the name of CUK never
occurred to me then. The bell rang in my mind after its entrance results were
out days later. Now my Amma was no longer able to hold fast to me. Even though
I did not entertain the idea of coming to join a college in the remotest part
of Kerala, all my worries were drowned in my excitement to stay in a hostel for
the first time in my life. All these years I had never spend any night on my
own. And now, I have two whole years in my hand. No one to control or restrict
me. I was on my own. The thought pierced every inch of me like the cold morning
breeze.
After much waiting, THE DAY
dawned. To add on to my joy, I was accompanied by two of my friends from All
Saints who got admitted to the same course. So, I thought, whatever happens, I
am not alone! The day I stepped into this institution, I still remember, was
drenched with rain. The memories of that cold morning are still fresh in my
mind. And when I entered my class, what else waited for me but a bunch of
beautiful eyes all filled with apprehension. The first period was by our H.O.D
Dr. Joseph Koyippally in which he asked us to define a ‘poem’. And then I
decided I don’t know anything about English or poem whatsoever. As my new
friends were trying to pull out a definition for poem from their heads, I
scanned through the class. It was another All Saints with the exception that
two out of the twenty were boys. Better two than none, I thought. But against
all my anticipations the girls in my class proved more amiable and humorous.
There wasn’t a single moment during the free hours when one of them wouldn’t
crack a joke. Hearing that, we had no other option but to double up in
laughter. It was not like we had enough time to idle. Day and night were packed
with assignments, projects or class tests. I resented the times I spend at
leisure back in my degree years. There appeared to be no difference between the
workloads of an engineering student and a literature student. In addition, the
course I was admitted to was not just English but ‘English and Comparative Literature’
which made all the difference. It took almost a year for me to comprehend what
they actually meant by Comparative Literature. And it made more sense when our
results came, which was based on comparative grading. I thanked the Almighty
for placing the college at such a long distance from my home after seeing my
results.
Life in hostel was the best of
all. Friends would just stream into our rooms all day especially during the
exams. In those days, we all would gather in one of the rooms and discuss the
topics. The one who had presented the topic in the class would be the sole person
who has read the essay. She would narrate the whole thing in one go and the
next day, we just try our maximum to make the answers appear as if we had
personally gone through the essay umpteen times. At other times, you sit in
front of the laptop and watch films or indulge in gossips. Hostels are indeed
the ideal place where all the gossips started, developed and spread. I remember
hearing from somewhere that our eyes always happen to be in the private life of
others. If you don’t find one involved
in any of these enjoyments, just look for them on their beds. Even on the eve
of exams we had the ability to sleep soundly. More responsible girls could be
seen ‘loitering around’ with the headphones permanently attached to their ears.
In fact it was a boon that no control was exercised on us regarding the use of
mobile phones inside the campus or at hostel. I pitied and snubbed those
friends of mine who did research on how to smuggle their mobile phones to
campus. At least in this respect, I had an apparent edge over my engineering
geek friends.
My parents hoped that I would
become somewhat accountable when I am to live on myself in the hostel. But I
always knew how far I could go. Soon they were forced to change the ‘bad girl’
tag attached to me. I went from bad to worse. Now when I went home, instead of
taking care of my things on my own, I exploited the soft corner Amma felt for
her only daughter she got to see just twice a year. Whenever my father lost
temper and scolded me for not helping in household chores, I would intimidate
him with my return train ticket. It was my brothers who suffered the most
during my stay at home now. Till date, they were cajoled for being the youngest
children of my family tree but now they lost all the special preferences on
account of me. I decided what snack we should have for the evening or what film
was to be preferred on T.V. They lost their voice and I smirked at them. The
only time my brother hit a Like to my post on FB all these years was when I
wrote a post grieving the day I had to return. They are usually disconcerted
about my arrival or departure. But I should confess this time, it was all
different. On this return, my brothers were most sad about my going. Let’s just
forget the fact that they were more bothered about the laptop with all their
films in it which returned along with me to Kasaragod.
My laptop was not among the
things I ever imagined to possess before I owned a profitable job. But here our
educational system was too nature friendly as to avoid use of paper altogether.
In effect, these days we worry more about virus infest than exam date. The ones
who had a virus attack in their laptops were viewed like they are affected by
HIV. And the ones without powerful antivirus as potential threats. We feared to
take or share any data with them. Further, those who had just installed
powerful antivirus after formatting their PCs were a lot more cautious, like
cats which fell into hot water. Life is much harder than I ever expected it.
In midst of all these problems,
the only thing that comforted me was my friendships. The moments I spent with
them. Maybe the fact that this is going to be practically the end of my
academic life makes it so much pleasurable. I live the day of our excursion to
Madikkeri still when I remember it in my mind’s eye. Some of my friendships
hardened then. People, who I am always sure, will never give me away. Whose
faces I won’t find looking at me from the other side even when the whole world
is against me. I remember with thanks my roomies as well as my best friends
from All Saints for their undying support and patience. If not for them, I
would have long before thought about concentrating on my studies…they are the
ones who introduced me to the world of fun and frolic. They taught me life is
not all about worrying about marks but keeping the spirits even on the face of
internal exam(iner)s. I had another best buddy, a senior who gave me all the
care and love I could ever get from my own elder sister if I ever happened to
have one. She was a family pack of love, concern, inspiration, excitement,
guidance and above all my model in standing against adverse life situations.
Last, but best of all, I had a senior who also happens to be the first friend I
got when I joined CUK. He is the only reason why I am writing this article for
a magazine of CUK. He kept my spirits high when I thought about discontinuing
the course here. He boosted my confidence so much so that I felt I could even
fly without a plane if I wish so. I have the freedom to yell at him when I am
sad or angry. I am sure now he is regretting having given me that liberty. In
everyone’s life there would be a friend who we feel was send to us by the God.
To pull us out of any muck we get ourselves into – that is the special duty
they are entrusted with by him.
Like India which had been a
developing country for fifty years CUK is a budding institution for four years.
I have joined many strikes against the university and complained against its
lack of infrastructure and incompetence. I have at times felt mad about the
moment I decided to join this place. At the end, however, I don’t think I can
leave this university without musing over the many unique life experiences and
beautiful moments it presented me with. The twenty gorgeous personalities in my
class fill my life like an entire new family outside my home. Not to forget the
five eminent faculty members in the department who invested all their time and
energy into the laborious task of getting something fruitful into our heads.
They are the ones who reminded me my head is not only for dreaming but also for
contemplating and devising new path breaking ideas. They also taught us studies
are not all about copy-paste from Britannica Encyclopedia but using our brain
to think it over and arrive at concepts and conclusions. Our course asked us to
attempt for interdisciplinary academic life. I was not able to do justice to
that instruction; nevertheless I made my relationships interdisciplinary. And
now I have friends in every department.
Everyone has a goal in their
lives. I remember with love a roommate of mine who couldn’t adjust with the
atmosphere here so much so that she studied hard and made it to TISS. She told
me before leaving that she wouldn’t have worked so hard if she was in some
other place. That was the extent to which she wanted to escape from here. However
it is not like that to everyone. There are also people who learned to face life
more boldly from here and set out to make their goals happen. In my case, I can
assure you at least the first part holds true. But more than that, all of has a
destiny to fulfill. Sooner or later we will confront it. And after studying one
whole year in CUK, I feel this institution has its own signature in our lives
in equipping us to face our future. In its truest sense, this is the alma mater
of life.